10 of the Best Tips for Two Under Two (from a real mom) (2024)

Getting tips fortwo under twois something you will not regret.

My son was 18-months old when my second baby was born and he became a big brother. Adding baby number two feels intimidating at the best of times, but there was very little time between the births of our two.

My son is now 6-years old and we’ve added a third child to our family. We’re officially out of the two under two stage…and we survived.

I’m not going to lie, it was crazy at times. Having a big baby and a little baby is all kinds of interesting.

However, it wasn’t awful, and I don’t think it was as hard as I thought it would be.

Either that or I’ve blocked out certain memories. Just kidding…kind of.

Having children soclose in agecertainly has kept life busy, but there have been many massive blessings that you should also know about.

So many times, moms are met with warnings that often start out with, “just you wait…”

I’m here to tell you that there’s more to having children than all the negativity you’ve probably been warned about.

There are joys abundant that are less often shared.

Below I’m going to share with you some of the best tips that got our family through those early stages of having two under two. I hope they help you too!

10 Helpful Tips for Two Under Two

Many of these tips can be applied to mothering no matter what the age gap is between your kids. These are things that will make your life easier all around.

All families work differently, so all of these tips may not apply to you. That’s okay! You’ll figure out what works best for you as time goes on. These tips for two under two are just a good starting point.

#1 Meal Plan

When you have a new baby your days are not as predictable. Plus, your older child may be clingy or fussy during the late afternoon hours.

When we think of self-care, we often equate that with spa days or manicures. The reality is that self-care starts by taking care of your most basic needs.

When you have two-under-two it can be difficult to get meals prepped.

My suggestion is to meal plan.

It’s not difficult. It really isn’t.

If you don’t meal plan, then chances are you’re going to end up eating rubbish, or nothing at all.

Your day may begin really well…but you may very well find that by the time 4 pm comes around, everything is crazy, and you either totally forget about starting dinner, or you just don’t have themental energyto figure out what to make.

Meal planning saved my life.

I plan for a month at a time and get whatever I need to defrost out in the morning. It just simplifies things.

Another great idea is to prep some freezer meals before your baby arrives to just take the strain off of you.

If you’re not sure where to start then I recommend checking out myMeal Planning Blueprint. It has everything you need.

I would also recommend usinga slow cookerwhenever possible.

As I said, mornings were usually fairly productive, so if I could get a meal on the go early, it meant that the afternoons weren’t quite so hectic.

Below you can click on the picture to read about the meal planning system I’ve been using for years to help streamline everything.

#2 Ask For Help

When you had your first baby you were probably pretty overwhelmed at some point or another.

However, in my experience, I didn’t have to ask for help as much. There was only one baby to care for.

With two under two, you pretty much have two babies – just at different stages.

I think people tend to forget how hard it is to add a member to your family.

Many stretch out their hands to help the first time a child comes along, but when it’s the second time,you’re kinda expected to just know what to do.

If you’re anything like me, that’s not the case. Ask for help, anddon’t ever feel ashamed. You can ask a family member if they can care for your older occasionally, especially in those early days.

Sharing the work often means that you can better give the best of yourself to your family.

Having2 kids under 2is a challenge and you shouldn’t take on all the responsibility all by yourself if you don’t have to.

Never let not asking for help be a reason for you burning out.

From my experience, most people are very willing to help when asked.

Life is just busy for everyone, and so sometimes they don’t see the need unless it’s pointed out to them.

#3 Get The Newborn Up First

THIS! I’ve tried it both ways, and getting the baby up first in the mornings is definitely my favourite.

I know you don’t always have the choice, but thankfully for us it has generally worked out.

I didn’t always do this in the first couple of weeks because let’s face it, the nights can be all over the place.

But, once we were in a little more of a pattern, I started to get the baby up consistently at the same time every morning.

For us, that was 6:45 am. I didn’t get my toddler up until 7:15.

I loved having that quiet time in the morning. It was a wonderful time of bonding for the two of us.

There was no toddler jumping around, overstimulating the newborn while simultaneously vyingfor my attention.

Because newborns don’t usually stay awake very long, I was often able to feed her, change her, and put her down for a nap before I even got my son up.

There have been times when I’ve gotten my son up first, and while it isn’t the end of the world, it is a lot more full on.

Let’s be honest here…once the toddler is awake, everything is all go,and at full throttle. 🙂

Having two kids under two means you have to be intentional about the routine your day follows.

#4 Divvy Up the Duties

It is impossible to give both kids all the attention they need 24/7.

That is just a fact of life.

I know it pulls on your heart strings to not be able to be there for both children (trust me, I know), but itisn’t your fault, it is just a reality.

If you try and care for them on your own all the time, you’ll likely end up burnt out.

My husband took over most of the toddler care for the first couple of months.

Of course, when he was at work I had the care of both the children, but when he got home, he would help out with whatever my son needed.

This was really important in keeping the home running smoothly.

I would recommend you have a conversation with your significant other before your second child arrives so that you are both on the same page.

Also, if your toddler is used to you carrying out most of the care, I would suggest you start letting your spouse do some things before the newborn arrives so that it’s not completely foreign.

The change of having a new sibling is big enough on its own.

The difference between having just one kid and raising two kids is that it takes even more teamwork.

Involve your spouse and allow them to help out wherever they can.

Parenting is done together.

#4 Establish A Routine

Some may laugh at this, but I know from experience that it is achievable. When and where possible, establish a routine.

This will be helpful for both you and your children.

They come to know what to expect and so do you.

It is exhausting having two little ones so close together, and your mind gets a bit scrambled along the way.

Having a similar routine every day will help you so much in coping with 2 under 2.

While we’re talking about routine, I HIGHLY suggestsyncing your kid’s napsA.S.A.P. Having their nap times at the same time is amazing.

The break that it will give you is sooooooo helpful!

In those early days, your newborn will obviously still be up at night, so you will want a nap break during the day for yourself. At least, I did anyway.

I also used that time to watch TV episodes, because I wasn’t staying up very late at night.

We have used theBabywisemethod with both our children.

Both kiddos were sleeping through the night by 3 months and had established routines. If you’re skeptical or have heard negative things about the method, readthis post.

I also used some of theMoms on Callmethod for my second child and found it really helpful.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, andSecrets of the Baby Whispererare also books that I’ve taken some gems from.

There’s no one routine that fits everyone, and it is a constant work in progress.

Take what information you want from the resources you read, and make it work for your family.

#6 Encourage Independent Play

Oh my gosh!

I am SO glad that I introduced Independent Playtime to Jack when he was a baby. I actually filmed a video about it some time ago. You can check it outhere.

Not only is it allowing him to buildnumerous amount of skills, but it has been a godsend now that I have two little ones to care for.

Jack happily plays on his own in his playroom for just over an hour every morning.

I synced his playtime up with his little sister’s nap. That means I get to shower, get dressed, do some chores, reply to comments/emails…all while he is playing happily.

It is WONDERFUL.

If you’ve never implemented Independent Play with your toddler, then have no fear! It is never too late to start! 🙂

You can read all about Independent Play time, and how to implement byreading this post.

#7 Get Out Or Take A Break

Being a mother to two under two is a wonderful blessing, but there is no getting around the fact that it isdifficult and intense.

You feel like you are on duty 24/7 (because you mostly are). It’s overwhelming, and you can get to a point where you don’t feel like this phase will ever end.

It does, and it will, but in the meantime, whenever you can,take a breakand have some alone time.

My husband has always been really good about letting me get out of the house for a bit while he watches the kids.

If your significant other doesn’t offer the same opportunities, then I would suggest asking. Of course be sure to do it in the right way, but it is really important for you to have a break.

We’re also very blessed in that our children have very supportive grandparents.

I’ve sent Jack to stay with my parents for a couple of days when I really needed a bit of a break. It was beneficial to everyone, in that we parents got some much-needed rest time, and my son got to spend quality time with his grandparents.

You’re not a failure for needing a break…you’re just human.

By taking the time you need to recharge, you will ultimately be able to parent your children much better than if you’re running on empty.

There is no one way to do things (as I’m sure you well know), but I hope that some of these tips make your motherhood journey just that bit easier.

Above all else, give yourself and your familyplenty of grace. You’re doing an awesome job, and you’re an amazing mama.

#8 Use a Baby Carrier and Invest in a Backpack Diaper Bag

When you have two little ones so close in age it can leave you struggling to have hands free time to actually get things done.

Having a double stroller is definitely a good idea, but there are lots of times when using a baby carrier will help you out too.

I used the baby carrier a lot when going to the grocery store. I could put my toddler in the cart and still be hands-free to get the groceries done.

Shopping with a newborncan feel daunting in and of itself so make your life easier where you can.

There are many types to choose from but I likesoft baby carriers like these onesfor when my babies are still little.

While we’re on the topic of being hands-free, one of my favorite purchases, when I had two under two, was abackpack diaper bag.

Sure, it isn’t always as cute as a regular diaper bag, but it really does get the job done!

You can fit so much inside and it is really easy to fling it over your shoulders and be able to still have both hands free.

There are diaper bags that can convert to backpacks as well, socheck out your options.

#9 Include Your Toddler

Adding a little brother or little sister to the family is a blessing for your first child, however, they may not see it that way to begin with.

It is normal for toddlers to have big emotions about this change to their family.

Avoidingsibling jealousycan feel like a burden on you but there are some practical tips to make it less of a likelihood.

First of all, spend a little extra time to make sure to include your toddler as much as possible. Diaper changes are a great way to do this. I would have my toddler fetch me diapers or wipes.

He loved feeling as though he was doing an important thing for his baby sister.

Another great idea is to set up some busy bags for your toddler to play with while you’re nursing. Spend a little bit of time prepping this before your baby arrives and you’ll be glad you did.

Involving your toddler works great in two ways. First of all, it lessens the chance of them feeling left out. Secondly, it minimizes the messes that they might make when unsupervised.

#10 Remind Yourself of the Blessings

There will be some hard days where you wonder what on earth you were thinking having kids.

I think it is healthy to acknowledge those feelings and accept that things are challenging, however, it is never productive to stay in that place.

Don’t let the overwhelm rob you of your joy. On the days when it is just really rough, be intentional about listing off your blessings and focusing on the important things.

At the end of the day, joy is a choice that you often have to make daily.

From a mom who has been through it and is now on the other side, there are wonderful things about having two under two.

They become playmates much sooner and life is simplified because they’re often in similar stages together.

The overwhelm doesn’t last forever. The sleep disruptions and constant efforts to wrangle a toddler and keep alive a baby eventually end.

Yes, there will be new kinds of challenges to face, but you grow right along with your kids.

How to Promote Sleep for Two Under Two

Now that we’ve gone over the tips, I wanted to give a quick overview of how to help your babies sleep better.

Ideally, you want them to have separate rooms, especially in the early stages when the baby has night feedings.

If this isn’t possible, you could do as we did and have your newborn sleep in the living room at night until they’re sleeping longer stretches.

We don’t have room in our master for a bassinet so the living room was a great option.

I also recommend investing in asound machinefor each child.

Finally, talk to your toddler about what happens when baby sleeps. I didn’t insist on quiet because that wasn’t realistic.

However, I did teach my toddler not to go barging into the bedroom when the baby was sleeping.

There is nothing worse than having your sleeping baby woken up, especially if you’ve been up all night!

Sleep schedules can feel intimidating but I’ve honestly never regretting using them even all these years later.

Two Under Two When Does it Get Easier?

As a mom trying to cater to everyone’s needs as well as you own, you will likely wonder when on earth it all gets easier.

I can’t tell you a particular age, although once they can play and entertain each other that really helps. At the end of the first year I really noticed this happening.

It also helps a lot when you’re no longer dealing with a lack of sleep and are just in survival mode.

Learning how to manage two kids is something that you learn as you go.

What I can tell you is that you get stronger and smarter.

You learn how to better cope with raising two children and before you know it, you’re a pro at certain things that you really struggled with at the beginning.

Many seasoned moms have told me that it doesn’t get harder or easier, it just becomes different.

There are different stages and you grow as a mom right along with your children.

Two Under Two Must Haves

While so much of what goes into coping with two under two is down to routine and self care, there is also something to be said for certain products that make life easier.

Here are some of my favourites that have made my life easier.

• For teaching your toddler to stay in their bed/room until it is time to get up. TheGro Clockis something that we have used every single day without fail.
• Avideo monitor. Having the ability to haveeyes on both kidsis so incredibly helpful. An added benefit is having an intercom to talk to your toddler if you can’t get to them immediately.
• When we do venture out, it is so much easier to have both children safely contained in adouble stroller.
• Portable white noise machines– one for each kid. Just trust me on this one.

What is the Best Age Gap Between First and Second Child?

New parents often consider age gaps and what might be best for their family. When it comes to having two under two, you’re going to have a young toddler and a newborn baby. It makes things challenging and you would be forgiven for wondering if there’s a better age gap.

My second daughter was born almost 2 years after her sister to the day. The extra six months did make a difference and I found the transition from 2-3 easier than the transition from 1-2.

However, there are many variables that played into our situation. The bigger age gap could have made a difference but it could also have been my confidence as a mom. My oldest son was also able to help out. Bringing a new baby home was a fairly simple transition for us.

So, to answer the question…I don’t know. I’ve been very happy with the age gaps that I have between my kids. I think it’s also wise to see things long term. Of course, having young children is hard work, but they don’t stay young forever.

We’re well out of the baby stage now and I”m very glad that all of my kids are close in age. It makes things a lot easier over all.

Final Thoughts

I’m updating this post yet again, another two years later. Much time has gone by now since I had two under two. I now have several of my siblings in that stage of life. It’s been fun being the big sister who can help out this time around.

I think all of them would say that having a nap schedule for their kids has been a life saver, especially after sleepless nights. It really benefits the whole family.

​One thing I can say is that it IS hard. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I think I downplayed it a lot because I would hate to be seen as weak. However, having young kids close in age really is a challenge. However, even the hardest things aren’t necessarily bad.

Young toddlers require a lot of attention and little things can feel like really big things when you’re sleep deprived.

You may feel as though you’re just getting by. You may wonder if your children feel as much love from you as they should. The most likely thing is that you’re an amazing mom and those kids you’re loving every day are only going to be that tiny for a very short time.

Before you know it, you’ll blink and they’ll be 8 and 7 years old. You might be teaching one phonics and the other multiplication. You’ll sit and wonder where the time went and you’ll pat yourself on the back for getting through that first year as a mom of two under two.